The First Principle

In my lifetime on earth, I have been blessed with three births:



1. from the womb into the world on December 1, 1952,

2. from the pall of substance abuse into sentience on November 11, 1996,

3. and again from the pall of substance abuse into sentience on October 16, 2010.



My substance of choice was alcohol — wine and beer. I abused to self-medicate; to provide temporary release from the pain I inflicted on myself by fanning flames of anger, fear and resentment, the embers of which I nurtured with constant attention and rumination. I permissively rationalized a scheme of facilitative thoughts that justified my choosing substance abusive behavior as a logical, viable alternative. In running this scam on myself, I violated the First Principle of sentient existence. I like the way Richard Feynman (renowned physicist and joyful bongo drum-banger) expressed it:



"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself — and you are the easiest to fool."



Among all of the individual particulars on which problem substance abusers may differ, I have noticed three common cognitive factors we all share:



1. a powerful store of resentments,

2. a powerful store of anger and fear,
3. 
and a withering ability to suck all of the habitable atmosphere out of a room into the black hole of our own self-absorption.



Therein lies the foundation of the personal problems we create with our abuse of consciousness-altering substances—or any habit of mind and behavior that manifestly imprisons us in an unproductive or harmful cycle of automated unconsciousness.

We fool ourselves believing "This should never have happened!" We fool ourselves believing "This isn't fair!" We fool ourselves believing "I've got to get even!" We fool ourselves believing "I deserve better!" We fool ourselves believing "my views (or problems) are the most important."

Really? Who says? All of the fore-mentioned presumptions are objectively absurd.

Oh, and there's another cherished core belief most of us are loathe to let go of: "This is so bad I can't stand it!"

The truth is, we can stand it. We just don't want to. And it's better if we just go ahead and stand it—we might learn something valuable. Even if we don't, we're better off ceasing to lie to ourselves in this way. Because the truth of the matter is, we can stand it.