Outside my private chamber,
just below the din of my thoughts,
songbirds are softly singing.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Reflecting on the recent robbery of our home
In that my spiritual sensibility has for a long time resembled Buddhism more than anything else, I must say that the recent robbery of our home confronted me with the relationship of suffering to personal attachment in unexpected ways. (For those who don’t know: Siddhartha Gautama, the man whom followers refer to as the Buddha, cited personal attachment as the root cause of all human suffering.)
I wasn’t “myself” for a while after the robbery. My emotions swung between murderous anger, deep sadness and grief, each bound in a cold, wet, constricting blanket of helplessness. My response was been symptomatic of depression. I couldn’t get enough sleep, no matter how much I got. I tended to withdraw into myself, even when I was with my family. Nothing was funny. When others were enjoying a conversation or a laugh together, I couldn’t relate. Something in me seemed broken, and I didn’t know what it was. Sometimes I felt like I was at that stage of freezing to death where one is unaware of pain—just weary, tired of everything and wanting to go to sleep forever.
It wasn’t about losing “stuff”. We got it all back. And even before we got it all back it wasn’t about losing stuff.
To me it was about seeing our back door kicked in. It was about Anne’s and Asher’s bags being cavalierly opened, the contents thoughtlessly, inconsiderately strewn all over the floor of the living room. It was about the intruders rifling through boxes of family pictures where there were no valuables to be found. It was about unconcerned, underdeveloped hominids invading our sanctuary, creating a big mess for us to clean up after. It was about the sense of violation. It was about the cavalier disrespect of our peace and privacy.
This really, really, really pissed me off. I am really, really, really attached to my idea of acceptable behavior regarding respect for peace and privacy.
Many species of the animal world — perhaps even some among our own species — may not, in fact, have the mental/psychological/spiritual capacity to respect and share my ideals. I understand that it’s futile to try to get them to cooperate. I’m happy to let them do their thing in their own realm, but when they seek entrance to mine, my rules apply.
I will defend my realm of peace and sanctuary. To intruders I will communicate in terms — verbal and/or physical — that their behavior indicates they understand. I will calibrate my response to the level of threat they seem to pose.
Peace is for the subscribers to the notion of peace; mercy is for those who clearly respond to the offering of mercy. If the behavior of an intruder indicates need for me to make a snap judgment opting for violence in my response, I accept that my judgment is fallible—I might respond more violently than every I would under circumstances that allowed time for more dispassionate analysis. But if I’m going to make a mistake, in a snap-judgment circumstance, it will not be the mistake of underestimating the potential threat.
I would prefer that violence was never appropriate in the conducting of human affairs. I grieve the fact that my personal preferences hold no sway over The Way Things Are. All is right with the world. Everything that is, is as it should be—all things considered, at any given point in time.
Incidentally, in the interest of full disclosure: had the twerps who robbed us gotten to my studio and taken guitars, etc., THEN it would be about the “stuff.”
;-)
I wasn’t “myself” for a while after the robbery. My emotions swung between murderous anger, deep sadness and grief, each bound in a cold, wet, constricting blanket of helplessness. My response was been symptomatic of depression. I couldn’t get enough sleep, no matter how much I got. I tended to withdraw into myself, even when I was with my family. Nothing was funny. When others were enjoying a conversation or a laugh together, I couldn’t relate. Something in me seemed broken, and I didn’t know what it was. Sometimes I felt like I was at that stage of freezing to death where one is unaware of pain—just weary, tired of everything and wanting to go to sleep forever.
It wasn’t about losing “stuff”. We got it all back. And even before we got it all back it wasn’t about losing stuff.
To me it was about seeing our back door kicked in. It was about Anne’s and Asher’s bags being cavalierly opened, the contents thoughtlessly, inconsiderately strewn all over the floor of the living room. It was about the intruders rifling through boxes of family pictures where there were no valuables to be found. It was about unconcerned, underdeveloped hominids invading our sanctuary, creating a big mess for us to clean up after. It was about the sense of violation. It was about the cavalier disrespect of our peace and privacy.
This really, really, really pissed me off. I am really, really, really attached to my idea of acceptable behavior regarding respect for peace and privacy.
Many species of the animal world — perhaps even some among our own species — may not, in fact, have the mental/psychological/spiritual capacity to respect and share my ideals. I understand that it’s futile to try to get them to cooperate. I’m happy to let them do their thing in their own realm, but when they seek entrance to mine, my rules apply.
I will defend my realm of peace and sanctuary. To intruders I will communicate in terms — verbal and/or physical — that their behavior indicates they understand. I will calibrate my response to the level of threat they seem to pose.
Peace is for the subscribers to the notion of peace; mercy is for those who clearly respond to the offering of mercy. If the behavior of an intruder indicates need for me to make a snap judgment opting for violence in my response, I accept that my judgment is fallible—I might respond more violently than every I would under circumstances that allowed time for more dispassionate analysis. But if I’m going to make a mistake, in a snap-judgment circumstance, it will not be the mistake of underestimating the potential threat.
I would prefer that violence was never appropriate in the conducting of human affairs. I grieve the fact that my personal preferences hold no sway over The Way Things Are. All is right with the world. Everything that is, is as it should be—all things considered, at any given point in time.
Incidentally, in the interest of full disclosure: had the twerps who robbed us gotten to my studio and taken guitars, etc., THEN it would be about the “stuff.”
;-)
Monday, February 21, 2011
Wind Through the Pines
The voice of wind through the pines is wise: listen closely.
—from the Book of Chazz
—from the Book of Chazz
Sunday, February 13, 2011
The Six Most Helpful Insights I've Ever Received from Others—So Far
Back in the mid-nineties I decided I would like to leave a list of lessons and insights that might help my kids avoid making the same mistakes I have made in life — mistakes that have cost me time, money, contentment and peace of mind.
I began writing down insights that, to my mind at any given time, passed for wisdom. The first thing I noticed was how much the things I wrote down were driven by strong emotions. I was primarily recording judgments on things about life that did or did not suit my preferences.
Finally, I realized that's not how wisdom works. Wisdom does not care about my preferences. Wisdom does not seek to make me feel better. Wisdom is about calling a spade a spade; seeing things, situations and people as they are — it's about recognizing the truth about...whatever...and simply accepting it.
Wisdom is an individual matter. And it's purely and simply about making one's individual peace with What Is.
Originally I thought my list of insights would be long — long enough to fill one of those bound books you can buy that has blank pages to write on. But no. I expect the list of insights I ultimately come up with might do well to fill a page. Anything more would probably amount to needless repetition or self-indulgence.
Also: Originally I thought the insights might be products of my own grand invention. Not so. All of the wisdom I most value at this point has been received wisdom — realizations that other people have pointed out to me, and that I finally understood when and how they put it to me the way they did.
What follows is my list of Most Helpful Insights so far. Some are direct quotes, others are paraphrased:
7. Many, if not most of us have never really met ourselves.
See? Number seven is kind of a repeat of number one, but using different words. Oh well. I think that one bears repeating.
I began writing down insights that, to my mind at any given time, passed for wisdom. The first thing I noticed was how much the things I wrote down were driven by strong emotions. I was primarily recording judgments on things about life that did or did not suit my preferences.
Finally, I realized that's not how wisdom works. Wisdom does not care about my preferences. Wisdom does not seek to make me feel better. Wisdom is about calling a spade a spade; seeing things, situations and people as they are — it's about recognizing the truth about...whatever...and simply accepting it.
Wisdom is an individual matter. And it's purely and simply about making one's individual peace with What Is.
Originally I thought my list of insights would be long — long enough to fill one of those bound books you can buy that has blank pages to write on. But no. I expect the list of insights I ultimately come up with might do well to fill a page. Anything more would probably amount to needless repetition or self-indulgence.
Also: Originally I thought the insights might be products of my own grand invention. Not so. All of the wisdom I most value at this point has been received wisdom — realizations that other people have pointed out to me, and that I finally understood when and how they put it to me the way they did.
What follows is my list of Most Helpful Insights so far. Some are direct quotes, others are paraphrased:
- "The first principle is that you must not fool yourself — and you are the easiest to fool."
- The secret to contentment is to maintain an Attitude of Gratitude.
- "Charles, you give people WAY too much credit."
- There is not just one "world". Each of us has a world of our own making that exists only inside our own head.
- No one else upsets us; we each upset ourselves.
- When it comes to making a living, we're all pretty much working retail: we have a set of "customers" and those customers must be pleased.
7. Many, if not most of us have never really met ourselves.
See? Number seven is kind of a repeat of number one, but using different words. Oh well. I think that one bears repeating.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Traditions: like the children's game of "telephone"?
When I think about it, traditions seem very much like the children's game of "telephone." There was an original message that the originators thought worthy of passing down the line. But as it was passed along, human foibles corrupt the message and eventually make it laughable.
I say this not to cast aspersions on originators or original events — these may well be worth commemorating. But the process of tradition-making is by nature a process of corruption. And the most adamant "defenders" of tradition are most likely the most corrupt of tradition-makers.
I say this not to cast aspersions on originators or original events — these may well be worth commemorating. But the process of tradition-making is by nature a process of corruption. And the most adamant "defenders" of tradition are most likely the most corrupt of tradition-makers.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Interesting parallel between Jesus and the Buddha #4
Those who want to save their life shall lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake shall find it.
— Jesus, Mark 8.35
With relinquishing all thought and egotism, the enlightened one is liberated through not clinging.
— Siddhartha Gautama, Majjhima Nikaya 72.15
Traditional Christians would not consider these sayings parallel because to them, Jesus' importance lies not so much in the wisdom he taught as in their notion that Jesus is their "redeemer" — i.e., that they are mysteriously absolved of personal responsibility for their own unwise, erroneous thoughts and behavior by Jesus' dying to absolve them from their sins.
In the quote of Jesus above, what did he mean by "my sake"? The underlying, implicit question that determines one's interpretation is this: How did Jesus see himself — as an essentially ego-defined entity, or as an ego-less exemplar of a way of being? Traditional Christians believe the former, I the latter.
The ramifications of this matter of interpretation are hugely consequential. The road to hell in human experience has, over the centuries, been paved with the notion that God has (or is) an ego. Is this not the fuel behind every act of cruelty or violence perpetrated "for the sake of" religion?
It seems to me that Jesus' thought of himself not in terms of an ego-bound "I" but as the embodiment of a way of being. If anything, he seems to have come to liberate those of his own Jewish faith from the notion of a dictatorial, egocentric god.
Perhaps the verse that traditional Christians point to most in order to "prove" that Jesus thought of himself in egoistic terms is John 14.6: "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me."
I understand. The claim does sound pretty egotistical — unless the key to interpretation is to understand that Jesus was not referring to himself in the typical way (as an ego entity) but as the embodiment (the manifestation) of a more godly way of being.
— Jesus, Mark 8.35
With relinquishing all thought and egotism, the enlightened one is liberated through not clinging.
— Siddhartha Gautama, Majjhima Nikaya 72.15
Traditional Christians would not consider these sayings parallel because to them, Jesus' importance lies not so much in the wisdom he taught as in their notion that Jesus is their "redeemer" — i.e., that they are mysteriously absolved of personal responsibility for their own unwise, erroneous thoughts and behavior by Jesus' dying to absolve them from their sins.
In the quote of Jesus above, what did he mean by "my sake"? The underlying, implicit question that determines one's interpretation is this: How did Jesus see himself — as an essentially ego-defined entity, or as an ego-less exemplar of a way of being? Traditional Christians believe the former, I the latter.
The ramifications of this matter of interpretation are hugely consequential. The road to hell in human experience has, over the centuries, been paved with the notion that God has (or is) an ego. Is this not the fuel behind every act of cruelty or violence perpetrated "for the sake of" religion?
It seems to me that Jesus' thought of himself not in terms of an ego-bound "I" but as the embodiment of a way of being. If anything, he seems to have come to liberate those of his own Jewish faith from the notion of a dictatorial, egocentric god.
Perhaps the verse that traditional Christians point to most in order to "prove" that Jesus thought of himself in egoistic terms is John 14.6: "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me."
I understand. The claim does sound pretty egotistical — unless the key to interpretation is to understand that Jesus was not referring to himself in the typical way (as an ego entity) but as the embodiment (the manifestation) of a more godly way of being.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Madness or Innocence?
The thing about Zen is that it pushes contradictions to their ultimate limit, where one has to choose between madness and innocence. And Zen suggests that we may be driving toward one or the other on a cosmic scale. Driving toward them because, one way or another, as madmen or innocents, we are already there.
It might be good to open our eyes and see.
—Thomas Merton
It might be good to open our eyes and see.
—Thomas Merton
Thursday, January 27, 2011
To Be or to Seem to Be?
Strictly speaking, most of us don't have much experience of human being—
just a lot of human seeming.
—from the Book of Chazz
just a lot of human seeming.
—from the Book of Chazz
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Who is our teacher?
Whatever teachings there are in Zen, they come out of one's own mind. We teach ourselves; Zen merely points the way.
— D.T. Suzuki
— D.T. Suzuki
Friday, January 21, 2011
Freedom?
“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”
— from the preamble to the U.S. Declaration of Independence
OK. So we’re created equal. After our birth into this world, what then? Some of us choose to become wise, some fools. And what is wisdom? What is foolishness? How do these qualities manifest in terms of attitude and behavior? Who is the arbiter over such matters? Don’t we, the people, kind of need to agree? How do we come to agreement?
— from the preamble to the U.S. Declaration of Independence
OK. So we’re created equal. After our birth into this world, what then? Some of us choose to become wise, some fools. And what is wisdom? What is foolishness? How do these qualities manifest in terms of attitude and behavior? Who is the arbiter over such matters? Don’t we, the people, kind of need to agree? How do we come to agreement?
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Now, Where Did I Put My Screwdriver?
Humans are “capable of inventing wonders and still capable of forgetting what we’ve done and blundering stupidly on...Our poor cognitive tool kits are always missing a screwdriver when we need it.”
— classicist James O’Donnell of Georgetown University
— classicist James O’Donnell of Georgetown University
Monday, January 17, 2011
Interesting parallel between Jesus and the Buddha #3
If someone strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also.
— Jesus, Luke 6:29
If anyone should give you a blow with his hand, with a stick or a knife, you should abandon any desires and utter no evil words.
— Siddhartha Gautama (Buddha), Majjhima Nikaya 21.6
Having been raised by and among fundamentalist Christians, I was steeped long in the oft-scalding waters of Christian tradition. I’ve pondered Jesus’ command to “turn the other cheek”, deeply and often.
What the heck does it mean?
The Buddhist phrasing of the principle speaks to me in terms I can begin to understand. I can relate to it as an exercise in letting go one’s desires (in this case, the desire for ego defense and revenge). I can relate to developing self-awareness and self-discipline by letting go of attachments to arbitrary, limiting notions of personal dignity, identity, pride and possessions.
At this point I can’t imagine that I will ever be willing to master this principle, as did Jesus and Gautama Buddha. Some desires and notions I remain unwilling to abandon. For example, I am not willing to abandon my notions of what is enough money and what is not (though I’m satisfied with less now than I used to be). If someone threatened the health or life of a family member or friend, I would not hesitate to protect them by any means necessary. And I am not willing to martyr myself to serve as an example to benighted masses.
That said, I’ve experienced a tremendous sense of liberation by practicing the discipline of “turn the other cheek” with regard to common daily assaults on arbitrary notions of personal dignity, identity, pride and possessions. I will most certainly continue practicing. And if, over time, I develop a still deeper appreciation for the principle of “turn the other cheek,” so be it.
I am grateful for where I am with all of this. I will be grateful for any deeper understanding that may come.
— Jesus, Luke 6:29
If anyone should give you a blow with his hand, with a stick or a knife, you should abandon any desires and utter no evil words.
— Siddhartha Gautama (Buddha), Majjhima Nikaya 21.6
Having been raised by and among fundamentalist Christians, I was steeped long in the oft-scalding waters of Christian tradition. I’ve pondered Jesus’ command to “turn the other cheek”, deeply and often.
What the heck does it mean?
The Buddhist phrasing of the principle speaks to me in terms I can begin to understand. I can relate to it as an exercise in letting go one’s desires (in this case, the desire for ego defense and revenge). I can relate to developing self-awareness and self-discipline by letting go of attachments to arbitrary, limiting notions of personal dignity, identity, pride and possessions.
At this point I can’t imagine that I will ever be willing to master this principle, as did Jesus and Gautama Buddha. Some desires and notions I remain unwilling to abandon. For example, I am not willing to abandon my notions of what is enough money and what is not (though I’m satisfied with less now than I used to be). If someone threatened the health or life of a family member or friend, I would not hesitate to protect them by any means necessary. And I am not willing to martyr myself to serve as an example to benighted masses.
That said, I’ve experienced a tremendous sense of liberation by practicing the discipline of “turn the other cheek” with regard to common daily assaults on arbitrary notions of personal dignity, identity, pride and possessions. I will most certainly continue practicing. And if, over time, I develop a still deeper appreciation for the principle of “turn the other cheek,” so be it.
I am grateful for where I am with all of this. I will be grateful for any deeper understanding that may come.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Interesting parallel between Jesus and the Buddha #2
If my heart can become pure and simple like that of a child, I think there probably can be no greater happiness than this.
— Kitaro Nishida
I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.
— Jesus
Transcendent change of heart and mind: The Way of spirit is as clear and simple as it is difficult for those of us who burden ourselves with countervailing notions of identity, pride and will.
— Kitaro Nishida
I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.
— Jesus
Transcendent change of heart and mind: The Way of spirit is as clear and simple as it is difficult for those of us who burden ourselves with countervailing notions of identity, pride and will.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Believe in...Nothing?
It is necessary, absolutely necessary, to believe in nothing.That is, we have to believe in something which has no form and no color—something which exists before all forms and colors appear.
— Shunryu Suzuki
Before thinking there is no mind.
When thinking appears, mind appears.
When mind appears, dharma* appears.
When dharma appears, form appears.
And when form appears, then suffering appears:
Life and death,
Happiness and unhappiness,
Good and bad,
Like and dislike,
Coming and going.
Mind disappears, dharma disappears.
Dharma disappears, form disappears.
Form disappears, then
Life and death,
Good and bad,
Happy and unhappy,
Coming and going —
Everything
Disappears.
So don't make mind, okay?
— Seung Sahn
____________________________________
The thoughts above, expressed by two sentient beings speaking from what I like to call the Zen Zone, may seem cryptic.
In terms of intent, such expressions are similar to the parables told by Jesus in that they require contemplation and introspection. Such expressions may or may not seem to "speak" to you. Whenever Jesus spoke in parables, he did so knowing that only those who were "ready" might have a clue what he was saying. He would say "He who has ears to hear, let him hear."
The same thing goes for Buddhist expressions such as these. A Buddhist parallel to Jesus' statement regarding parables is this: "When the student is ready, the teacher appears."
— Shunryu Suzuki
Before thinking there is no mind.
When thinking appears, mind appears.
When mind appears, dharma* appears.
When dharma appears, form appears.
And when form appears, then suffering appears:
Life and death,
Happiness and unhappiness,
Good and bad,
Like and dislike,
Coming and going.
Mind disappears, dharma disappears.
Dharma disappears, form disappears.
Form disappears, then
Life and death,
Good and bad,
Happy and unhappy,
Coming and going —
Everything
Disappears.
So don't make mind, okay?
— Seung Sahn
____________________________________
The thoughts above, expressed by two sentient beings speaking from what I like to call the Zen Zone, may seem cryptic.
In terms of intent, such expressions are similar to the parables told by Jesus in that they require contemplation and introspection. Such expressions may or may not seem to "speak" to you. Whenever Jesus spoke in parables, he did so knowing that only those who were "ready" might have a clue what he was saying. He would say "He who has ears to hear, let him hear."
The same thing goes for Buddhist expressions such as these. A Buddhist parallel to Jesus' statement regarding parables is this: "When the student is ready, the teacher appears."
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Using a Hammer to Do the Work of a Saw
With all your science can you tell me how it is, and whence it is, that light comes into the soul?
— Henry David Thoreau
Scientific methodology is a marvelous tool that enables us to discover many marvelous, beautiful, useful things that help to prolong and enrich our temporal existence and experience. That said, doesn't it seem a bit silly to use this tool to the exclusion of all others? Is it sensible to expect a hammer to do the work of a saw?
— Henry David Thoreau
Scientific methodology is a marvelous tool that enables us to discover many marvelous, beautiful, useful things that help to prolong and enrich our temporal existence and experience. That said, doesn't it seem a bit silly to use this tool to the exclusion of all others? Is it sensible to expect a hammer to do the work of a saw?
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Interesting parallel between Jesus and the Buddha
The kingdom of heaven is within you.
— Jesus
Look within, thou art the Buddha.
— The Buddha (Siddhartha Gautama)
We humans tend to torture the words of prophets with semantics hoping to capture, kill and stuff meaning into doctrinal taxidermy that absolves us of personal responsibility for discovering the quiet resolutions of existential dilemmas by looking deep within ourselves.
— Jesus
Look within, thou art the Buddha.
— The Buddha (Siddhartha Gautama)
We humans tend to torture the words of prophets with semantics hoping to capture, kill and stuff meaning into doctrinal taxidermy that absolves us of personal responsibility for discovering the quiet resolutions of existential dilemmas by looking deep within ourselves.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Freedom, Failure and Fairness
It seems unfair that failure is essential to every aspect of freedom — economic freedom, political freedom, the freedom of existence itself. But freedom is not fair. Much can be made of the fact, I suppose. Personally, I'm immune to the complaint. I have a twelve-year-old daughter, Muffin. All I hear is "It's not fair! It's not fair! It's not fair!"
I say to her "Honey, you're cute. That's not fair. You're smart. That's not fair. You were born in the United States of America. That's not fair. Darling, you had better get down on your knees and pray to God that things don't start getting fair for you."
— P.J. O'Rourke, from Don't Vote It Just Encourages the Bastards, chapter 4, pp. 47-48
I say to her "Honey, you're cute. That's not fair. You're smart. That's not fair. You were born in the United States of America. That's not fair. Darling, you had better get down on your knees and pray to God that things don't start getting fair for you."
— P.J. O'Rourke, from Don't Vote It Just Encourages the Bastards, chapter 4, pp. 47-48
Saturday, January 1, 2011
New Year thoughts 2011
New Years morning, 8:15AM. A line I love, delivered inimitably by Curly of the Three Stooges comes to mind: “I’m trying to think, but nothin’ happens!”
Maybe that’s a good thing? I tend to build up New Years as if they should be somehow Momentous; a New Beginning, filled with Great Insights, New Vision, New Resolve, New Goals, etc. Maybe I’d do better to go exercise or play guitar for a while until these urges to Wax Profound pass.
Yeah. I’m gonna try that right now…
(huff-puff on Nordic Track for a half hour…)
Result: Perfect!!! My urge to Contemplate My Place In The Universe was lost in the activity.
Now: Attempt to achieve the same marvelous result with a dog walk, then guitar…
Maybe that’s a good thing? I tend to build up New Years as if they should be somehow Momentous; a New Beginning, filled with Great Insights, New Vision, New Resolve, New Goals, etc. Maybe I’d do better to go exercise or play guitar for a while until these urges to Wax Profound pass.
Yeah. I’m gonna try that right now…
(huff-puff on Nordic Track for a half hour…)
Result: Perfect!!! My urge to Contemplate My Place In The Universe was lost in the activity.
Now: Attempt to achieve the same marvelous result with a dog walk, then guitar…